Moving on

The beads of perspiration on her forehead indicated the fear residing within her. She was scared..scared to accept the reality that was right in her face, realtiy that would soon shatter her whole life, reality that would leave her incapable of love . LOVE: the doomed 4 letter word which just before a few months made her world go round and had her swaying along with the winds,had her hum tunes she never liked before, had her smiling to the point that she looked like a retard, but she didn’t care, for she knew there was someone who loved her smile. At this moment though, she knew this was coming and would destroy her, make her weak, but she had to be strong, atleast pretend to be strong,  for she could not see her loved ones witnessing her break down in that manner. BUT  was that possible ???? How long could she wear a mask of that uncaring attitude, her close ones would definitely call her bluff, sooner or later, and then what would the consequences be?? Would it be easier, or would it be more than worse for her to accept the truth, the truth that was looming in front of her eyes?? She was confused and this confusion was getting the better of her. Was she going insane, was she being unreasonable? She didn’t know and she didn’t want to find out the answer…not then , not ever. She realized that sometimes letting go was a wiser choice, mainly because holding on would turn into a liability, a liability she knew would soon turn into an obligation. Finally she made her decision, she would have to face sorrow, unhappiness, envy,mirth,rage, but she would get over it. This belief in herself made her tag along her decision, a decision she had made for herself. Yes she would be happy, and that too without any regrets, she would be happy because though she had surrendered her happiness to somebody long ago, she had all the rights to get it back, for there were many people who loved her more than her smile,who wanted her to be truly happy and she had no right to make them feel wrong in their expectations. This would be a new her, a person experienced enough to face life yet eager enough to explore more of it!!!